Why Some Babies Just Can't Seem to Relax
Every new parent expects some crying. Babies cry when they are hungry, tired, uncomfortable, or simply want to be held. That is normal. That is expected.
But some babies seem different.
They are hard to settle. They prefer being held constantly. They arch their backs, seem tense during feedings, grunt and strain even when nothing appears to be wrong. Parents describe these babies as “stiff,” “always on edge,” or “uncomfortable in their own skin.” And when they bring these concerns to their pediatrician, they are often told that everything looks fine because the baby is gaining weight and passing their milestones.
That may be true. But it doesn’t explain why their baby seems to be working so hard just to get through the day.
In my experience, one reason is often overlooked: birth is physically demanding, and not every baby comes through it without carrying some of that tension in their body.
Think about what labor and delivery actually require of a newborn. They must twist, turn, flex, and compress to navigate through the birth canal. Even uncomplicated deliveries place real forces on a baby’s head, neck, jaw, and spine. Cesarean births have their own physical stresses, particularly when labor was prolonged before delivery or when the baby needed significant assistance coming out.
Most babies shake it off remarkably well. Others arrive in the world carrying areas of tension and restricted motion that quietly affect how they move, feed, sleep, and settle.
And because babies cannot tell us where they are uncomfortable, we have to learn to listen to what their behavior is saying.
A baby who always turns their head to one side, arches backward when upset, startles easily, resists lying flat, struggles to settle into sleep, or cries inconsolably despite having every need met is communicating the only way they know how. Their body is uncomfortable, and they are doing their best to tell us.
These babies are not being difficult. Their nervous system may simply be working harder than it needs to.
One of the most important nerves in the body is the vagus nerve. It travels from the brain down through the neck and plays a role in regulating swallowing, digestion, heart rate, breathing, and the body’s ability to shift into a calm, restful state. You can think of it as the nerve responsible for “rest, digest, and settle.”
The vagus nerve passes through areas of the head and upper neck that experience real pressure during birth. When tension develops in these regions, the body may not be functioning as smoothly or efficiently as it could. This does not mean anything is damaged. It simply means the body may need a little help finding its way back to ease.
This is what osteopathic evaluation is designed to uncover.
When I assess an unsettled newborn, I am looking for areas of tension, asymmetry, and restricted motion throughout the body. I commonly find tightness in the neck, jaw, head, diaphragm, or upper spine. Treatment is extremely gentle. Most techniques use less pressure than you would use to check if a peach is ripe. There is no cracking, no forceful manipulation, nothing that looks dramatic from the outside.
What I see on the inside, in how these babies respond, can be remarkable.
I treated one baby who had been fussy and disconnected since birth. His mother was exhausted and starting to worry that something was seriously wrong. After his first treatment he started smiling, making eye contact, and truly engaging with her in a way he never had before. She told me she finally felt like she was meeting her son.
That is what I mean when I say the goal is not to treat disease. The goal is to help the body function the way it was always meant to.
When a newborn’s body is free to move and regulate itself efficiently, parents often notice what they were hoping for all along. A calmer baby. A better feeder. A child who can finally settle, sleep, and simply be comfortable in their own body.
That is not a small thing. In those early weeks, it can change everything.
Dr. Anna Ekstrom, DO, MPH, The Osteopathic Pediatrician, is a board-certified pediatrician and osteopathic physician specializing in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The content of this article is intended for educational purposes and should not be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified healthcare professional.
